I can’t even blame the sleep deprivation

Back when #4 was still pretty little, like 4 months or less I had what I like to call a Just Go Back to Bed Day. Before I even get into it, this was the time in my life where yes, I had 4 children, but the last one was actually sleeping quite well and I was starting to feel good. Like so good that I can start doing those things I wanted to do when I was pregnant but my body disagreed with. Things like drink smoothies with vegetable in them. When I was pregnant I tried and it wasn’t improving the rate and frequency that I was throwing up so I postponed that one. I was sleeping well enough that I used my Mr.’s days off to leave the house to go grocery shopping instead of napping. That speaks volumes. So regardless of feeling good and being motivated I still had one of those days.

It started with my usual morning smoothie. The blender was all clean and ready for me to fill it with super nutritious greens and some fruit.  I kept thinking that if I keep this up, I should get one of those really nice blenders you needed to take out a payment plan for like you would a car. I got one of those Kitchen-aid mixer for Christmas from my mom once and the quality of my baked good increased at least 45%. I couldn’t find the clear plastic piece for the middle so I thought I would be cool and throw a towel over the little hole like I’m on  a cooking show. I’m trying to get this smoothie done before everyone wakes up. Specifically my kids who hear the blender and get all excited until they see the shade of green or other color that happens when berries and spinach are mixed together. My 10-year-old blender was making a really loud noise and I thought…hmmm…that seems louder than usual. Maybe its just because I’m trying to be quiet. I blitz that sucker a couple of times and when the sound doesn’t improve I just stop. I have these huge glasses for said smoothies and when I poured almost the entire contents of the blender into it and heard an uncharacteristic PLOP at the end I really stopped. Upon taking a closer look I found the clear plastic piece from the lid. I had completely mangled it. Trying to be positive and not totally bummed that I had to dump the entire thing because I’m pretty sure plastic shards are bad for the intestines I got dressed for my grocery store run.

Shopping for groceries baby/child free is like a mini vacation I don’t get to go on very often. In general I’m all about wearing whatever is comfortable to do stuff like this but my Mr. is the Assistant Store Manager for the grocery store we shop at so I feel the need to at least wear a  hat, a bra with a wire in it and to make sure my mascara from yesterday isn’t terrifying. After the blender incident I’m in a less good mood but still looking forward to leaving the house.

I get to the store, do my thing. Smiling and chatting with some of the people I know there. I always make an effort to smile at the other moms shopping with their kids and give them encouraging looks so they know I get it and would be struggling if I had my kids too. When they apologize for their kid being in the middle of the aisle I tell them I left my little aisle blockers at home with dad and not to worry about it. I heard a crazy story on the radio about a mom who had 2 unhappy kids in line at a grocery store and the older lady behind her told her how stress free the mom’s life will be when social services takes her kids away. These people exist so let’s try to have each others backs in public when we can. But I digress.

I get out of the store, get my stuff loaded in, take the cart back and sit in the driver’s seat. I go to start the car like normal and the key won’t turn. This is where my brain starts to devolve and my lack of rational thought become weirdly apparent. I try again. Key won’t turn. Then I start looking around the car to make sure that it is in fact my car. My thought process was that maybe the remote works for all cars of this make but the ignition key prevents you from driving away in someone else’s car. Nope those sticky cup holders and fish cracker covered floors were definitely from me and my kids. Ok so I’m in the right car but my key won’t turn so I stare at my keys. I have a set from my Mr’s car. Nope, I put the right key in right car, it just won’t turn. I try turning the wheel thinking that maybe it’s locked and if I move it the key will work but I can’t move the steering wheel. Now I’m starting to panic because I don’t want to go into my Mr’s place of work and be like can you help me this pointy thing won’t go in the other thing and make the car move. I have the car with the car seats so my Mr. can’t pack up the kids and rescue me. I’m realizing that for whatever reason my brain is failing me in finding a solution and the only thing to do is call my Mr. and see what his brain with my brain can accomplish.  He is great at teasing me when I need to take myself a little less seriously and knowing when to not mock me because I am actually struggling with something. This was one of those times. “I can’t get the key to turn. I’m in the right car. I can’t figure this out. Please help.” No laughter on the other end, just calm instructions to retry some of the things I already had. Check if fishy cracker covered car was for sure ours was not one of his suggestions by the way. He had me really yank on the steering wheel and even though it didn’t look like it moved when I retried the key it turned and I could drive home. I was literally done after that and Just Went Back to Bed. I had mangled a piece of my blender and almost got myself stranded at the grocery store in my car because of user error. I couldn’t even blame the sleep deprivation you would expect with a newborn. That was all me. But someday my brain will work a little better. It’s not always going to be like this and I’m glad I will have new things to embarrass myself with. Here’s hoping.

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