Mommy Mantra

I’ve had many of those days. The ones where I didn’t think I would make it. I wasn’t going to make it to lunch, or nap time, or dinner, or when my hubby would be home or to bed time. I really wondered how I would get there without one or all of us crying or yelling. You know the days I’m talking about. Where you start off with the best intentions and then by disaster #3 you realize its only 9:30 in the morning and you don’t think you will make it. I had to come up with some kind of pep talk. Don’t get me wrong I have some people in my life that give me excellent pep talks but I didn’t want to call them every day for one. I had to come up with some kind of Mommy Mantra to remind myself in those extra hard moments that I was going to make it somehow. My first mantra was “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.” That one usual got me through the tough days. But I needed something more for the phases that seemed to be day after day of hard days that lasted for weeks. That’s where this blog got its title. “It’s not always going to be like this.” I would call my friends and ask why parenting was so hard. How long was it going to be like this? When will the kids sleep, eat more that one food group a day, stop screaming all the time? Those were the first level questions. But I was freaking out about the next level questions. When will my post-pregnancy hair stop falling out? When will I stop feeling so tired and overwhelmed? When will I go to sleep without regretting the things I didn’t accomplish that day? When will I check on them after they’ve fallen asleep and not cry because I should have been more patient and soft-spoken? That’s when I needed the reminder that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That my current existence wasn’t permanent. I needed hope. I needed to be positive. I needed something to drowned out the voice in my head saying that I was failing. “It’s not always going to be like this.” I also needed to remember that you only get 18 summers with your kids. I needed to remember that I would miss them when they were in school full-time. I needed to remember that soon the baby will sleep through the night and there would be no more midnight snuggling. I needed to remember that when my child hits that next milestone they will rely on my just a little less. So parents. Please. Try to Remember. It’s not always going to be like this.

One thought on “Mommy Mantra

  1. I love this. I find that the first year or so after I have a new baby it is the hardest for me–not that the baby himself is hard, babies are so much easier than the older kids these days… But I was thinking that it was particularly hard after this baby (my 5th), until I remembered feeling the same way after #4. So now I have hope that things will get better, and I will get better at dealing with it all. That doesn’t always help me on the bad days, but still.

    I feel a lot of pressure to enjoy every moment with my kids; guilt because it’s going to pass quickly (it already is!) and everyone tells you to enjoy it because they’ll be grown up so soon. The other day I was hanging out in the car waiting with my youngest 3 while my 2 oldest were at their Judo class and of course my 4 year old needed to go potty, so I did the autostart and left the baby in the car (yep, being really honest here–we were just outside the door though and I knew we’d be quick) and went in with the other two and passed a lady I’d talked to a couple times who has 5 or 6 kids. She said hello, and then that she’d seen me in the car. She said, “It made me so glad that I’m past those days!” I said, “really? Because everyone tells me to enjoy them because before I know it they’ll be grown.” And she said, “I think they’ve forgotten how it was, or they wish they could have enjoyed it more.” It was so real, and so liberating to me, the idea that I don’t have to enjoy every moment. It’s like the whole opposition in all things thing–we wouldn’t appreciate the good moments if we didn’t have the contrasting chaos.

    Anyways, sorry this is so long. After having the above two realizations, I still had probably the worst week of my life, which makes me feel super ungrateful because I have so many blessings… anyways, so I was just glad to see your post and this blog and to know that I’m not alone feeling like I’m going crazy and wondering (at times) what I was thinking wanting all these kids that I can’t handle. “It’s not always going to be like this…” Thanks, Megan. 🙂

    (and sorry if this posted twice, I was having problems…)


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